Friday, November 30, 2012

Why I'm Likely To Hate Your Christmas, Hanukkah or Festivus Card

I’m not one to give spoilers, but this photo will be one of a few on my holiday card.

I'm using it as a form of rebellion, illustrated perfectly in the “get that damn camera out of my face” expression on little Isla’s face.  But more importantly, I'm including it because it is real.

Believe me, I am all about photos, cards, and anything crafty I can buy at Michael’s without being spotted by someone I know, but I have many a pet peeve when it comes to this tradition.

I hate your holiday card if…

·      It's a boring, generic, unpersonalized card and you simply sign your name.  I mean, at least make the message worth what you are spending on the postage.

·      You put make-up on young children.  Even lip gloss is totally unacceptable.  Unless, if course, it's on Courtney Stodden.

Courtney Stodden: Christmas 2010
·      You use uber-posed, obvi-uncomfortable professional shots.  You know, the head-tilt ones.

·      You don matching parent/child outfits.  If you shop for Eddie Bauer coordinates, it better be for comedic value only.

·      You include a family resume.  I care about my family and friends lives, just as I hope you care about mine, and I do appreciate hearing a tidbit or two about ballet or guitar lessons.  But I do not need to know every time you add a “student of the week” bumper sticker to your ugly minivan.

Holiday cards should be a celebration of what your life is really like, not a prim and proper, fake representation of what you think it should be.  Do I think you should include a copy of your script for antidepressants and second notice of an overdue cell phone bill?  Certainly not (although that would be my favorite card EVER).  Instead, I just encourage you to be you.  You are definitely better at it than anyone.