Thursday, September 26, 2013

Trophies for Childless Women? I Want One Too.

I have made many a life-changing decision, but never expected a trophy for even one.  In fact, it‘s often when I’ve made some of my larger, more difficult decisions that I expected more backlash.

Still, I am a little surprised by the wave of support for women who decide to remain childless.  But please, before you go getting your granny panties in a bunch, hear me out.

I'd happily be the very first in line to say that many people should not have children.  In fact, there are way too many people who’ve had children that should never have, or should have them taken away.  I am also a huge advocate of (and likely future participant in) adoption.

I am not one of those women who dreamt about my fairytale wedding.  I had no idea what I wanted my gown to look like until I put it on, and even then I surprised myself.  But what I did always know was that I wanted to be a mother.  I could always picture a growing family.

Thankfully, I was not faced with a split “do I or don’t I” decision with regard to childbearing.  But if I had been, or even if I had known from the very start that motherhood was not in my future, I wouldn’t have expected any more accolades for it than I would for being a mother of many.

I commend the women who decide not to have children just as much as I commend the women who do, as long as it is done well*.

Shouldn’t we all?

* surely this leaves a lot up for interpretation, but that’s another discussion…