Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Douche, Nipple Gate & A $300 Purse Giveaway! (What More Could You Ask For?)

Work has kept me on my toes lately so I recruited Jeni to help me out here, and boy did she deliver- not only with some great tips, but also with the chance to win an amazing handbag.

On a recent sisterly excursion into Beverly Hills for a fun day of shopping, Karri-Leigh asked me for a piece of gum- preferably one without flavor reminiscent of a spring smelling douche.
I told her to go into my purse, as most sisters would.  She was appalled, to say the least.  Why?  My name is Jeni Elizabeth, and I am a hoarder.

I am a girl that hates emergencies.  I am accident prone, and have the worst luck.  So, I come prepared.  And like any skilled hoarder, I feel the need to justify my behavior.  Therefore, I bring you, the contents of my purse.

First off, the idea of not carrying a large tote at all times literally gives me panic attacks- and mine is a gold mine.  My handbag may be worth more than your monthly grocery allowance, but that’s because it doubles as an armoire.

The essentials?

* An empty wallet, because apparently I am too busy to every return my credit cards or cash where they belong.

* An eos chapstick egg (or 6) because my lips are always dry.  (And not to sound dirty, but I enjoy the egg a little more than I should.)
(you can't see the egg that well here, but I prefer Chuck Bass whenever possible, which is a tad creepy because he reminds me of my brother)
* A tiny (tightly sealed) jar of olive oil.  It’s the perfect solution to cuticles much in need of a mani.

* My magic eraser.  It’s a small craft sponge, perfect for deodorant or make-up stains, and dries in a pinch so it’s safe to return to your purse.  You can find one in any major craft store.

* My day planner, despite the fact that I haven’t ordered a calendar fill-in since the Spice Girls were popular the first time around.

* A Tide stain stick because I work in fashion and cannot stomach stains.  (I also can’t stomach someone else’s stains, and will totally judge you for them.  So if you need to borrow, just ask.)

* Double sided tape.  Screw Nipple-Gate… I once used it to fix my windshield wiper!

* Two phones and an ipad, which give me a wonderful reason to get rid of voicemail.  If you still can’t get me, I am avoiding you.  Obvi.

* A checkbook.  For what, I am not quite sure.

* And for the grand finale, let’s be real.  Pills.  My brother once told me that the best way to spell classy is with a fancy (and well-filled) pill case.  I also love the pretty colors and glitter that that case brings to my bag.  (Although my dog Coco’s accessories accomplish the same thing.) 

Bottom Line: My purses feel great, look better, and sound like a Salvation Army Santa Claus shaking a bucket of beer caps, which my nieces love. Evident of hoarding or not, I love them, and am willing to spend my hard earned money on them (or at least my boyfriend is).  They are my best friend (sorry Karri…), my lifeline, and most importantly- me.

But, in my opinion, no fabulous women should be without an incredible (and oversized) tote.  So, without further ado...

This one of a kind hobo from ZEYZANI retails at $300
To enter, leave a fun comment here regarding what you carry in your purse (or murse)!  Jeni will decide the winner.