Poke fun at Miley Cyrus all you’d like, but each of us has
had an incredibly embarrassing moment (or nine). So in support of my Free Miley movement, as I'm pretty sure I am the only one participating, I have chosen to
over share.
In college, I was your typical blast in a glass… or make that keg. As a proud Boston College Eagle, my
friends and I were die-heard supporters of the blood, sweat and tears our
athletes lost for our Alma Mater.
It is for that and that reason only that we got very, very drunk at
Dick’s Last Resort the night before a big football game.
For those of you that aren’t familiar with Dick’s, it’s
known for fine cuisine like Hooters is famous for wings.
The plates are paper, the wait staff is rude, and the most
you can look forward to is an enormous paper hat folded into the shape of a
penis. The only problem is, you
aren’t supposed to ask for one. I
learned that the hard way.
 |
| (Looks like these people did too... Bon appetit!) |
After requesting the party favor, a waitress told me I was
going to have to “work for it” (never a good sign). Then, “have you ever heard of a muff
dive?” (also, never a good sign, btw).
She brought me (and a crowd of supporters with cameras) over
to a big group of guys. Long story
short, she seated one of the guys down, placed a mug of whipped cream between
his legs, dropped a shot glass into it, and I took it down.
Yes, I took a muff dive. And in return, I got the coveted paper penis hat. “But,” the waitress added, “I don’t
want you to look at the hat”.
Distracted as I was by the hoards of people anxious to take photos with me, I obliged.
Several hours and conga lines later, it was time to go. On the way out the door, I noticed a
table of suits, one of whom looked very familiar. And I never forget a face.
I removed my hat, tried to straighten my hair, and compose
my self enough to say hello. As it
turns out, he was an old family friend and respected businessman, who just
happened to coordinate a memorial golf tournament-- in my father’s name.
“I thought I recognized you, Karri-Leigh”, he said. “But I wasn’t sure if I was staring
because I knew you, or because of that hat you’ve been wearing all night”.
“Well, then we’re even”, I replied. “You’ve seen my hat, and I’ve seen your
golf game”.
As I walked out of the bar, I read the hat.
It said “Lick my cl*t, it’s juicy”.
So, because we’ve all made mistakes, be sure you do something
special for your Dad this weekend.
