Poke fun at Miley Cyrus all you’d like, but each of us has had an incredibly embarrassing moment (or nine). So in support of my Free Miley movement, as I'm pretty sure I am the only one participating, I have chosen to over share.
In college, I was your typical blast in a glass… or make that keg. As a proud Boston College Eagle, my friends and I were die-heard supporters of the blood, sweat and tears our athletes lost for our Alma Mater. It is for that and that reason only that we got very, very drunk at Dick’s Last Resort the night before a big football game.
For those of you that aren’t familiar with Dick’s, it’s known for fine cuisine like Hooters is famous for wings.
The plates are paper, the wait staff is rude, and the most you can look forward to is an enormous paper hat folded into the shape of a penis. The only problem is, you aren’t supposed to ask for one. I learned that the hard way.
|(Looks like these people did too... Bon appetit!)|
After requesting the party favor, a waitress told me I was going to have to “work for it” (never a good sign). Then, “have you ever heard of a muff dive?” (also, never a good sign, btw).
She brought me (and a crowd of supporters with cameras) over to a big group of guys. Long story short, she seated one of the guys down, placed a mug of whipped cream between his legs, dropped a shot glass into it, and I took it down.
Yes, I took a muff dive. And in return, I got the coveted paper penis hat. “But,” the waitress added, “I don’t want you to look at the hat”. Distracted as I was by the hoards of people anxious to take photos with me, I obliged.
Several hours and conga lines later, it was time to go. On the way out the door, I noticed a table of suits, one of whom looked very familiar. And I never forget a face.
I removed my hat, tried to straighten my hair, and compose my self enough to say hello. As it turns out, he was an old family friend and respected businessman, who just happened to coordinate a memorial golf tournament-- in my father’s name.
“I thought I recognized you, Karri-Leigh”, he said. “But I wasn’t sure if I was staring because I knew you, or because of that hat you’ve been wearing all night”.
“Well, then we’re even”, I replied. “You’ve seen my hat, and I’ve seen your golf game”.
As I walked out of the bar, I read the hat.
It said “Lick my cl*t, it’s juicy”.
So, because we’ve all made mistakes, be sure you do something special for your Dad this weekend.