Friday, October 26, 2012

My Favorite Lists, Including A Stellar Suggestion For "F*ck, Marry, Kill"

It was below 90 degrees in Los Angeles today, which is a sign that the holidays are right around the corner.  Unfortunately, this also means that we are about to be inundated with lists of people’s “Favorite Things”.  (Damn you, Oprah…)

So in an effort to be less annoying, I decided to beat everyone else to the punch and share mine first.  I debated pulling together the best items in my closet or the most useful items in my house, but then realized I am not Rachel Ray.  Then came ideas for my “Favorite Things I Wish Someone Would Buy Me For Christmas, But No One Will”.  I nixed that as well. 

So instead, without further ado, here is a list of my “Favorite Things To List”.

* Household Chores (That Will Never Get Done)
(for example: Clean the Baseboards)

* New Ways I Am Going To Lose That Last 5 Pounds
(for example: ask Facebook friends for their fave workout jam, then make a “Get Skinny” playlist)

* Age Inappropriate Things My Kids Say
(for example: they scream “My cuca! My cuca!” in reference to a crib, which in Spanish is cuna.  Unfortunately, cuca is slang for vagina)

* Ideas For The Next Big Self Help Book
                        (such as “A Meme Made Me Do It”)

Funny Photos Of Strangers That I Risked My Life To Take & Now Have No Clue What To Do With
                        (tied at the top of the list are these two beauties…)

Facebook Posts Worse Than Photos of a Dog About to be Executed
                        (strangely, this list is always blank)

Perfectly Challenging Trios For a Game of “F*ck, Marry, Kill”
 (for example: Larry David, Garry Shandling & Kevin James, pre "Here Comes The Boom")


We make all sorts of lists… to do lists, guest lists, priority lists and wish lists, to list just a few.  For some, they are a collection of dreams or desires.  For others, they are challenges.  But remember… We are determined not by the lists we make, but the steps we actually take.