I'd Eat My Own Placenta If It'd Stop Me From Looking Like Phil Spector

Many years ago, my sister-in-law talked me into using a placenta-based hair treatment.  I gagged as I put it on my head, envisioning tiny babies nursing my locks back to their full potential.  Crazy hallucinations aside, I knew even then that looking good takes work.  I had also grown up with the Pantene ad campaign “Don’t hate me because I’m Beautiful”, and of course everyone wanted that gig.  So, I sucked it up.

Because my hair looked like this:

I tried this:

And as a result, I looked like this:

 But still white.

In all honesty, I haven’t thought about placenta much since.  Then I learned that “Mad Men” star and total bombshell January Jones eats her own placenta.  Like, with her morning java.

In all seriousness, I am being a bit overdramatic.  Though not commonplace, (and not yet FDA approved) more and more women are having their placenta dried and encapsulated, like a vitamin.  It is believed that the placenta may promote a speedy recovery from pregnancy and help prevent post-partum depression, but this is considered scientifically unproven.

Fancy-schmancy lingo aside, it does sound like a reasonable argument.  And as long as it is taken in a capsule and enjoyed Hannibal Lecter style, I could probably stomach it. 

I bet my hair would look ah-mazing.