I will not win an Emmy on Sunday, nor did I win an Emmy during the Creative Arts Ceremony held on Saturday. In fact, I am not nominated to win an Emmy this Sunday, nor was I nominated to win on Saturday- which as the presentation for those that do more of the hard work, is likely where I would have won if I could have.
Still, the weekend got me to thinking as to what I would do with an Emmy if I won one. I began to envision places I would keep it in my home, and anticipated it could be a highly functional tchotchke.
I ran right out to purchase one, but failed at that as well. So, I bought an Oscar instead, and put him right to work as...
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| A Spare TP Holder |
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| A Banana Hanger |
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| A Hipster Garden Gnome |
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| An Accessory Display |
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| Part of a Killer E.T. Reenactment |
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| A Butt Holder |
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| And A Shoe Horn |
Clearly the opportunities are endless, but I had yet to determine it's best use. Then Jimmy Kimmel came to me in a dream...
It's really difficult to pin down the exact monetary value of an Emmy (or Oscar for Catsitter of the Year). That said, I am sure I could find some idiot to pay a bunch of money for it on eBay. Then I would take that money and put it to good use in my Operation Christmas Child project, described here:
Congrats to all the Winners!
